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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834361">He's Not OK</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_big_world_out_there/pseuds/a_big_world_out_there'>a_big_world_out_there</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Karasuno Family, M/M, POV First Person, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:13:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_big_world_out_there/pseuds/a_big_world_out_there</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a smile is all we can give, even at the worst of times.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio &amp; Tsukishima Kei &amp; Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Caught My Eye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If I'm being honest, Karasuno doesn't seem like much. Especially from the outside. None of that matters, though. I'm only here because old Coach Ukai is supposed to be coming out of retirement (and Shiratorizawa didn't want me, but that's beside the point). The opening ceremony is dragging on. Principal Ogasawara sure is good at putting people to sleep. Only when it's the sports club leaders' turn to speak am I actually paying any attention. </p><p> </p><p>First was the soccer club, then baseball, swimming, and finally volleyball. Only two people stepped forward, the captain and vice-captain I assumed. Coach Ukai was nowhere in sight, however. The one with black hair gave the usual recruitment speech while the one with silver hair watched with his hands folded in front of him. </p><p> </p><p><em>Dammit! The only reason I came to this stupid school isn't even here! </em>My resolve is already hardened despite the disappointment. Whether or not Coach Ukai is here, I'm still gonna play. Despite that, I can't help but be disappointed. I let out a quiet sigh and the girl next to me elbows my arm, hard. <em>What the hell was that-? Oh right, I'm supposed to be paying attention</em> still. I slump down in the hard metal chair and fold my arms.<em> Maybe he'll be at practice? No, all of the other coaches were there...</em></p><p> </p><p>"If you're interested in joining the volleyball club, please come by gym 5," The black-haired captain says with a slight smile. With that ends all the volleyball news for now. </p><p> </p><p>To try and pass the time and ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach, I start glancing at the people around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a head of fluffy, orange hair. The color is startling against the other dull brown and black hair. <em>I didn't think we were allowed to have dyed hair? </em> Whoever that person is, they're sitting behind me a couple of rows and down a few people. I turn my head to try and get a good look at their face. Big brown eyes stare back at me and he flashes a quick grin. <em>Is there something on his cheek?  </em>I wonder. Maybe I'll try to ask him about it later. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Luckily, or maybe unluckily for me, the orange-haired boy is in my homeroom. Instead of paying attention, I try to think of excuses to start a conversation with him. Through introductions, I learn that his name is Hinata Shoyo. Hopefully, he hasn't caught me staring at him. Our teacher's voice slowly fades out until she sounds far away. <em>There's not much need to pay attention on the first day anyway since they're just going over the rules and curriculum, </em>I try convincing myself. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, the end-of-day bell rings, releasing everyone from their first day. I hurry as fast as I can to the volleyball gym. There I see Hinata talking to the silver-haired guy from the club presentations. <em>He's short. </em></p><p> </p><p>"Ah, you're here to sign up for the volleyball club too?" Hinata asks excitedly, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. Now that I can see him up closer, the thing on his face definitely looks like a fading bruise. <em>Are those... are those bandages? </em> I have to do a double-take. Peeking out from underneath his red track jacket looked like white gauze bandages. <em>Is he gonna play like that? Whatever. It's not like me to want to pry into someone's business like this. As long as it doesn't get in the way of his ability to play, it shouldn't matter</em>. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." I force myself to look him in the eye."Hinata Shoyo, right?" </p><p> </p><p>"Oh! You actually know my name!" His eyes sparkle with excitement. "And you're Kogane- Kuni-" </p><p> </p><p>"Kageyama." </p><p> </p><p>Hinata flushes red. "Sorry. I promise I'll get your name right next time."</p><p> </p><p>"It's good to know that you two already kinda know each other," The boy with silver hair says. "I'm Sugawara the vice-captain, but you can just call me Suga-san. A pleasure to meet you Hinata, Kageyama." He gives us a warm smile. </p><p> </p><p>"Nice to meet you both!" I bow quickly. </p><p> </p><p>"You two should go get changed. Our clubroom is the fifth door down on the second level." Suga-san motions to the building across from the gyms. "It should be unlocked." </p><p> </p><p>We walk to the clubroom in silence. Hinata is still vibrating with energy. The grin on his face hasn't wavered or dipped at all since I saw him talking to Suga-san. My face hurts thinking about smiling like that all the time. Somehow his excitement was contagious. I could feel a smile tugging at the corners of my lips too. </p><p> </p><p>I change quickly, a little anxious to meet my teammates. When I look up though, Hinata is just standing there. He had a funny look on his face but I couldn't begin to guess what he might be thinking. </p><p> </p><p>"Something wrong? Why haven't you changed yet?" I snap. <em>Shit, that came out too harshly</em>. Hinata jolts slightly and gives me a sheepish grin. </p><p> </p><p>"Nothing's wrong!" Hinata says quickly, waving his hands. "I've uh, I've never actually played on a real team before, so I guess I'm not real used to changing in front of other people. Sorry, it's just a bit awkward for me, you know?" A light blush tints his cheeks but his whole body is stiff at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>My mind is sent reeling. <em>Who the hell is this guy? Is that why he was so excited?  </em>I stare at him for a second before catching myself and shaking my head. "I'll leave just this once. You have to get used to changing in front of other people though." Praying my words came out correctly that time, I leave the clubroom and Hinata emerges a few minutes later. To my surprise, a gauze bandage was wrapped around his left forearm. His kneepads also went up higher. </p><p> </p><p>"Are those basketball kneepads?" I ask, which causes Hinata to blush yet again. </p><p> </p><p>"They're the only ones I could find!" He huffs indignantly. </p><p> </p><p>"Let's just get back to the gym," I sigh. </p><p>
  <strong>------------------</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Two more first-years show up for the first practice, a tall blond and a slightly shorter boy with a splash of freckles. They make an... odd duo. At least to me. It's like the freckled one can't even think independently. Throughout our introductions, I didn't hear him speak a single word until the tall one said something. Even then he'd only agree or snicker. Both of them only dwarf Hinata more. </p><p> </p><p>"Where's the libero?" Hinata asks, tilting his head. </p><p> </p><p>Daichi-san, our captain, winces slightly. It feels odd to call him by his first name."He's suspended from all club activities next month, though we're not sure if he'll even be back." </p><p> </p><p>"<em>If</em><em>?</em>" </p><p> </p><p>"He and another one of our players got into a fight," Tanaka-san interrupts. At least I think his name is Tanaka. (I'll learn all of their names eventually). "He said that he's not coming back unless the other guy comes back, so for now we're down and out a libero." He folds his arms and scowls. </p><p> </p><p>Hearing the story causes anger to start boiling in my chest. <em>It doesn't make any sense. Why the hell would they let stupid petty feelings get in the way of the sport? </em></p><p> </p><p>"Earth to Kageyama! Hellloooooo?" Suga-san waves a hand in front of my face. </p><p> </p><p>I glance at him, confused. "Eh? Something happen?" </p><p> </p><p>"You just got this really intense look on your face," Daichi-san cuts in. "Like you were about to start a fight with someone." </p><p> </p><p>"Which would've been entertaining," Suga-san mutters quietly. Daichi shoots a glare in his direction and he just puts his hands up in surrender. "Hey! I'm just being honest, Captain." </p><p> </p><p>Daichi-san lets out a long, pained sigh, and pinches the bridge of his nose. "God, what am I going to do with you?" </p><p> </p><p>"C'mon, loosen up Captain. It's only the first day and you're already so uptight," Suga-san teases. "Right Kiyoko?" He whips around to catch a girl with dark hair up to her neck in towels and water bottles. She stops in her tracks and hums quietly. I didn't notice her at first she was so quiet, though it seems like most of us didn't. </p><p> </p><p>"IT'S SHIMIZU-SAN TO YOU!" Tanaka-san shouts. He throws the volleyball he was holding at Suga-san's head and very narrowly misses. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears like a cartoon. "YOU CAN'T BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH HER YOU UNDESERVING BASTARD!" </p><p> </p><p>"Like you <em>are</em> deserving?" Suga-san raises an eyebrow. This only causes a bigger reaction from Tanaka-san. </p><p> </p><p>"SHUT UP!" Daichi-san roars back. It even causes me to jump. <em>Shit, he's kinda scary</em>.</p><p> </p><p><em>Geeze, what the hell have I gotten myself into? </em> I shake my head and glance over at the other first-years, trying to gauge their reactions. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi (I think that's their names) look incredibly bored. Freckles even yawned. In comparison, Hinata is as stiff as a slab of rock. </p><p> </p><p>"Please stop shouting," Shimizu-san mutters. She's set the towels and water bottles down near the entrance to the gym. "You're scaring him." She gestures towards Hinata. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm fine," Hinata squeaks out.</p><p> </p><p>Shimizu-san frowns and starts walking towards Hinata. Tanaka-san tries to get in the way, but she slaps him and keeps walking. </p><p> </p><p>"Ah-ah, I'm fine I promise!" Hinata hides his face in his hands, but his ears are still bright red. Slowly, he lowers his hands.</p><p> </p><p>Shimizu-san examines Hinata closely. "What happened to your face?" It looks like she was going to touch his cheek, but stops herself only inches away. "It looks like you had a pretty nasty bruise there." </p><p> </p><p>Hinata looks like a deer in headlights. "I uh... I fell. I live in the mountains so I ride my bike everywhere and got into a pretty nasty accident... yeah." He held up his bandaged arm. </p><p> </p><p>"What an idiot," Tsukishima snickers. Yamaguchi nods in agreement. </p><p> </p><p>"You're so considerate Kiyoko-san!" Tanaka-san swoons. He just got slapped but he's still got a huge grin plastered on his face. I could basically see the hearts in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Daichi-san and Suga-san talking to each other in hushed voices. <em>I wonder what they're talking about</em>. Daichi-san's brow is furrowed and he looks like he's going to scold us. <em>Almost like a teacher or a parent. </em></p><p> </p><p>All of this and practice hasn't even started yet. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>guess who's starting another fucking project while i already have two other stories already ongoing</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Don't Care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are we going to start practice or are you guys gonna fuck around the whole time instead?" I demand. Everyone turns and looks at me. None of my words are coming out correctly today. <em>Did that come out too harshly as well? They're all looking at me</em>. My mind starts racing. I can feel their eyes boring into me. <em>Great first impressions you're making Tobio. </em></p><p> </p><p>"Well hello to you King," Tsukishima mutters under his breath. I want to slap him.  <em>I </em><em>hoped that nickname hadn't followed me here, but I guess there's nothing I could've done about it. </em>Yamaguchi tilts his head, his hair flopping with the movement. </p><p> </p><p>"King?" Hinata asks, shooting me a confused glance. I ignore him. Hinata pouts when no one answers him but I’m thankful nonetheless. I’m not exactly in the mood to explain where that nickname got its origin. That’s none of his business anyway. I feel the eyes of my new teammates boring into me, making my skin prickle. </p><p> </p><p>"A real go-getter you are! I like it." Tanaka-san slaps my back and I almost stumble before regaining my balance. <em>At least he broke the silence for me.</em> He's laughing. That must be a good thing, right? I'm going to take it as a good thing. "But he's right, let's get practice started already!"</p><p> </p><p>"You can play with that arm?" Suga-san motions vaguely at the bandages. </p><p> </p><p>Hinata nods enthusiastically. "I've been waiting three years for this! I'm not gonna let a few scratches get in the way of my first <em>real</em> practice." A look of confusion passes over a couple of other people's faces at the odd statement. I'm compelled to believe Hinata, despite my barely knowing him. <em>All that matters is if he can play well</em>. </p><p> </p><p>"What positions do you all play?" Daichi-san asks, motioning to Hinata, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. "Besides Kageyama. You're a setter I know that." Tsukishima clicks his tongue once again in disdain. I can't tell if he just doesn't like people or if he specifically has something out for me. Either way, he's pissing me off. </p><p> </p><p>On the other hand, Suga-san looks frustrated. His cheeks are puffed out in a pout and his brow is furrowed. I don't know why though. Maybe I already did something to upset him. <em>Is he mad at me for yelling at everyone? Tanaka-san seemed OK with it though...</em></p><p> </p><p>"I'm a middle blocker," Tsukishima says offhandedly. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with two fingers and shoots me a glare out of the corner of his eye. I want to snap his glasses in two. </p><p> </p><p>"It's only natural for your height." Daichi-san nods. He gestures at Yamaguchi. "What about you?" </p><p> </p><p>Yamaguchi shrugs. He doesn't make eye contact. "I've never really had a set position so I've played a little bit everything. I can fill in whatever we need I guess." </p><p> </p><p>"And you?" </p><p> </p><p>"I wanna be the ace!" Hinata exclaims excitedly. I cringe internally. </p><p> </p><p>"You know ace isn't actually a-" Tsukishima starts. </p><p> </p><p>Suga-san picks up a nearby empty water bottle and throws it at Tsukishima's chest. It bounces off harmlessly and rolls away. "Let him have his fun. You're such a downer." Tsukishima glares at him but keeps his mouth shut for once. <em>If he doesn’t like getting called on his shit maybe he should keep his mouth shut more</em>. </p><p> </p><p>"Just because you're a third-year now doesn't give you the right to start assaulting our juniors with water bottles," Daichi-san snaps, wheeling on Suga-san. He turns towards Tsukishima. "And you stop making snide remarks under your breath. No one asked for your opinion." </p><p> </p><p>Tsukishima frowns and I notice Yamaguchi smiling for the first time since this mess of practice started. </p><p> </p><p>"Now that we've gotten... <em>sorted-</em>" Daichi-san sighs and Suga-san snickers "-Let's get warmed up and start with a round of diving drills." </p><p> </p><p>“Sorted is one way to put it.”</p><p> </p><p><em>God, did I really just forget that she was there again? </em>Everyone turns around at the sound of the voice. Kiyoko frowns at us. She was holding the water bottle Suga-san had thrown at Tsukishima and rolls her eyes. “Boys.” </p><p> </p><p>“Kiyoko~!” Tanaka-san swoons. </p><p> </p><p>“LET’S BEGIN,” Daichi-san shouts, voice booming through the gym. We all snap to attention. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Captain!” </p><p> </p><p>Diving drills went as expected for something so simple. Hinata performs the same dives as the rest of us without complaint. If he was injured badly enough to come to school with his arm all wrapped up like that, I think it’s a small miracle that he’s able to do everything that we’re doing without so much as wincing. <em>His pain tolerance must be crazy high</em>. I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of that train of thought. Appraising all of my teammates is a normal process, but I don't think anyone has ever caught my attention as much as Hinata has. <em>Whatever. He's playing fine and that's all that matters</em>, I remind myself. </p><p> </p><p>After we're done with diving drills we move on to serving practice. I try to ignore the number of times Hinata accidentally drops the ball on his face and the peanut gallery's near-constant snickering. <em>(Seriously, what's his damage? He's really starting to get on my nerves.) </em></p><p> </p><p>The longer practice goes on, the more I'm starting to realize how much we're missing. We have no coach, no libero, a lacking defense, someone who doesn't seem like he even wants to be here, and an inexperienced idiot. On top of that, no one's serves have been particularly powerful or good. Occasionally Suga-san or Tanaka-san get a good one over but it's definitely not consistent. I'm the only one who's getting powerful serves over the net reliably, which is going to be a problem. </p><p> </p><p>In the corner of my eye, I notice Yamaguchi just standing there and staring at me though I couldn't begin to guess why. I'm not the only one who notices because I watch Tsukishima whisper something in his ear and glare at me. </p><p> </p><p>"Kageyama!" Hinata calls, waving his hands to grab my attention. </p><p> </p><p>"What?" I snap and look over at him. <em>Great first impressions you're making today, Tobio</em>. </p><p> </p><p>"How'd you learn how to serve like that?" Hinata asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "You're so good! Like really good!" </p><p> </p><p><em>You've got to be kidding me. He's not gonna ask me to teach him or anything, right? </em> I tense up. "Observing what players more skilled than me are doing and practicing on my own." I fold my arms and stare at him. "Even then, just because you practice really hard and put in a lot of effort, that doesn't mean you'd be any good at all if you don't have a feel for the game." At that statement, Hinata seems to deflate a little. </p><p> </p><p>"Geeze Kageyama, that's kinda harsh," Suga-san says. "It's only our first practice." </p><p> </p><p>"But it's the truth-" I start but Daichi-san raises his hand and I close my mouth. <em>Geeze Tobio, why don't you just piss everyone off on the first practice? </em></p><p> </p><p>Everyone glances at me before returning to their practice. I can still feel their eyes burning into the back of my head long after the moment has passed. Toss, jump, hit. Toss, jump, hit. Toss, jump hit. The movements are muscle memory at this point. More diving drills, then we move to receiving. One side sets and the other has to receive then vice versa. Nothing unusual. Finally, Daichi-san calls practice as the last remnants of orange sunset leak in through the windows, bright as Hinata's hair. It was dark out by the time we were finished. Suga-san leads the way to the clubroom. </p><p> </p><p>"Where's the pipsqueak?" Tanaka-san asks. He glances out the window, trying to see to the ground floor. Everyone stops except for Tsukishima. "I don't think I saw him come in." </p><p> </p><p>"Does it matter?" Tsukishima pushes the glasses up the bridge of his nose and frowns. "We're not his babysitters."  </p><p> </p><p>"He's still your teammate," Ennoshita-san replies calmly. At least, I hope it's Ennoshita-san who said that. He gives Tsukishima a stern look, just like the looks my teachers give. "If he doesn't come back in five minutes we'll go look for him. Maybe he got lost." </p><p> </p><p>"When would he even have had the time to get lost? We all came up here together," Yamaguchi notes. I turn my attention to him. It's the first thing I've heard him say independently of Tsukishima this whole time. <em>Maybe he does have a personality. Fuck. That was rude, </em>I chide myself. </p><p> </p><p>After more debating, Daichi-san makes the executive order to go look for Hinata since Karasuno has a decent-sized campus and maybe he got lost looking for the bathrooms or something. I just step off the metal stairs when a: "HEY GUYS!" rings across the empty yard. My head whips towards the voice and we see Hinata bounding towards us, changed back into his uniform and a yellow bag slung over his shoulder. The bag reminds me of something a little kid would have, not a high schooler. </p><p> </p><p>Suga-san shakes his head. "Where the hell were you? Some of us were starting to think you managed to get lost." </p><p> </p><p>"Oh! Sorry about that." Hinata rubs the back of his neck. "I uh... I guess I lost track of time. I found this frog-" </p><p> </p><p>"What an idiot," Tsukishima snorts, cutting him off. <em>Damn, I kinda want to know about the frog now. What? </em></p><p> </p><p>"Shut up for once, dude," Tanaka-san groans. He strides over to Hinata and fluffs his hair. "It's all good little dude. Since I'm such a good senpai, why don't we get ice cream?" Hinata's stomach growls. </p><p> </p><p>"Absolutely not," Daichi cuts in. "Every time we go to the Sakanoshita Store I always end up paying for all of you freeloaders." </p><p> </p><p>"C'mon Captain!" Tanaka-san whines. He glances at Suga-san and his face lights up with an idea. "It'll be like a team bonding activity or something!" </p><p> </p><p>"...fine." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>f u c k sorry for not updating this shit lmao. i can't say that my life has really been very interesting but i'm taking my ap exam next week so please wish me luck i'm actually paying to get my ass kicked by college board what the fuck.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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